The Black-Disguised Hero
by Nymphian
Summary: A tragic event happens to one person. Is this "tragedy" confirmed where it will cause permanent damage, or will true luck occur? Rated T for language and possibly violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is my first fanfiction, so I might not start off that well. But that's okay, because nobody's perfect. Might take me a while to update chapters and stuff, so patience, patience, patience! Don't like, don't read. Enough talk, let's get this story started! :D**

 ** _Disclamer: I don't own South_** ** _Park_** ** _(I wish I did though), Matt Stone & Trey Parker do._**

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 **CARTMAN**

Another normal day in South Park, where my friends and I were playing basketball. Kenny and Kyle keep fucking cheating! It's not fucking fair! And they say that's what you're fucking supposed to do; you're supposed to knock the ball of your hands.

Whoever invented this damn game can suck my clit and balls!

After the game was finally over, I said, "Fuck you cheaters, I'm going home." As I walked off, I pretended to ignore the "Humph" and "Later, fatass." Fucking assholes. Why are they so mean to me?

I enter my house and go straight up to my room to upload a new video to my awesome _YouTube_ channel: _Cartman Bra_! I currently have 16,000 subscribers and counting. Pretty cool, huh?

And now, I go to sleep, dreaming about sweets, _KFC_ , fries... Kyle. Wait, what the fuck?


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you, _N3k0-Chn The 2nd_ & _SouthparkWritter197_! You're too kind. I like your stories as well :D Let's see how chapter two goes! **

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Yes, I'm still wearing a pink bow on my head at school. I'm letting my hair grow out some. Still using what they call, the "cissy" bathroom. Still able to take a peaceful dump with just two claps. While I was in the classroom listening to the shit Mr. Garrison has to say, I noticed Kyle wasn't wearing his usual green hat.

I couldn't help but distract myself by putting my hand in his big, curly hair. I whispered, "Nice afro, douche!" He abruptly moved his head away from my hand.

"Shut up, fatass!" Kyle whispered back angrily. God, I love pissing him off. It's fucking cute as shit! Woah, did I just fucking say "cute"? I meant to say it's fucking hilarious as shit!

I decided to put my hand in Kyle's hair again. This time, he slapped my hand away and said, "Goddamn it, Cartman!"

"Shut up and pay attention!" Mr. Garrison yelled.

I smiled at Kyle, and he glared back. I continued teasing his hair, and all he did was either move his head or shot me an angry look. If looks could kill, I'd be burnt toast.

We finally reach the end of the school day. I followed Kyle, Stan, and Kenny outside of the school.

"So, Kahl, what ever happened to your favorite hat?" I asked.

"I fucking lost it, asshole!" He replied.

"Well excuse me for being goddamn curious, Kahl! Jesus fucking Christ!"

"Well excuse me for fucking pissing me off by distracting me in class!"

"Well excuse me for-" I stopped.

I didn't finish the sentence. I was about to say something really gay out of my mouth, and I didn't want to embarrass myself.

"Fuck you, Kahl!" I said and walked home without looking back.

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 **Okay, sorry guys and sorry if this A/N is long, I'm stopping there for now. I don't want you guys to know what happens next just yet. Sorry if the first and this chapter is short, but I think some of you might not want to keep scrolling down if they're really long chapters (Even I don't like that sometimes.). So I'll try to keep the length shortened, depending on the scene. Anyways, hope you somewhat enjoyed this chapter and will enjoy the third. Again, updating may take time and please try to take it easy, I'm still new to this. ;( Later, gaterz! =3**


	3. Chapter Tunnel

**Hellllloooooo guys! I'm still alive here; school's still in my way, like a giant odyssey. Anywho, this is a little somethin'-somethin' for you for those who are still interested in this story! Enjoy the newbie's work! =3**

 _ **ATTENTION: THIS IS NOT A NEW CHAPTER! THIS IS BASICALLY LIKE A CHAPTER 3 MINI PREMIERE. SORRY, THAT WAS NOT STATED YESTERDAY!**_

 ** _WARNING_** **: I may sound angry, but no worries! I'm not. Just basically trolling, cause' that's what I like to do.**

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 **C** **artman: Dude! What the fuck?! Did you seriously just made me think that Kyle is cute?**

 **Me: You bet your ass I did! We all know that's what you're thinking.**

 **Cartman: Screw you, fucking bitch! Why I oughta—**

 **Me: You oughta nothing! You ain't going to do shit to me, mother fucker. Sure, you're probably not going to admit it anytime soon, but I know you're in love with Kyle, bruh!**

 ***Crickets chirping***

 **Cartman: No I'm fucking not!**

 **Me: Yes you fucking are!**

 **C** **artman: No the fuck I'm not!**

 **Me: Yes the fuck you are!**

 **Cartman: I can do this all day!**

 **Me: And so can I. This is** ** _my_** **story, so this means I can expose your alleged secrets whenever I want. And because of you calling me a bitch, I might be mean to you next chapter or upcoming chapters.**

 **Cartman: Don't you dare!**

 **Me: I said** ** _might_** **, not** ** _will_** **. So I suggest you cut back on the obscenities. Got it, fatso?**

 **Cartman: Don't fucking call me—**

 **Me: Okay, moving on!**

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 **I apologize if you thought this was nowhere near funny. It's best if you look at it like a clue to what my next chapter may supposedly contain. I'm still thinking, folks! Like I said, I'm lazy and my imagination speed is going way too fast for me to catch up! Goodbye, you guys! :D**


	4. Chapter 3

**Okay, just to let you know, I have decided to upload this chapter after all of the Season 19 episodes were aired. Plus, I've been busy. (Fucking school, man!) Anywho, hope you all enjoy this short chapter. And Happy New Year!**

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And so I am no longer "transgender". I got sick of using the "cissy" bathroom anyway. I finally cut my hair and looked like my normal self again. I had other things to worry about; one of them being: Cupid Me tells me I'm gay.

That night, when I was 98% sure that my mom was asleep, I got up out of bed, changed my clothes, and snuck out of the house. I decided to take a walk through the neighborhood, and was heading towards Stark's Pond.

When I arrived, I saw that somebody else read my mind and was already there: Kenny.

"Kenny? The fuck are you doing here?" I asked. He looked up.

"(I could ask you the same question.)" he answered.

"I came here, because I fucking wanted to."

"(Well then that's my answer to your question.)"

I sat down next to him. He was still staring at the water, supposedly pondering. We were quiet for a minute, until he spoke up.

"(So, why are you really here?)"

"Dude, I fucking told you already!" I snapped. "I'm fucking here because I fucking wanna be!"

He continued staring into space.

"(You're lying.)" he said nonchalantly. "(I bet you're here because you're trying to take your mind off of someone special. Don't think I didn't know what you were going to say to Kyle before you stomped off.)"

Shit, this dude is smarter than I thought. But how can I know for sure that Kenny knew what I was going to say? Let's find out.

"Oh, really? What did you think I was going to say?"

He smirked.

"(You were probably going to say, 'Well excuse me for thinking that it's too cute to piss you off!')" He was making princess-in-love-with-prince gestures to piss me off. Fuck. He really _does_ know me.

I blushed out of anger. God fucking damn it! I hate Kenny so fucking much right now!

"What the fuck, Kenny? I wasn't going to say that gay shit, asshole!"

"(Okay, whatever you say)." He sang while laughing his ass off. This was when I decided to ask him questions to try to wipe that smile off his face.

"Why are you really here, Kenny?" I began. "You here to think about making out with Butters or Stan without wanting to hear your drunk parents arguing and shit?"

My plan worked. His faced turned from a smile to a glare. Now it was his turn to deny.

"(What the fuck are you talking about?)"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"(No, I don't know.)."

So, he wants to play dumb. How amusing.

"Hmm, let's see. You decided to go to Hawaii with Butters. During Halloween, when we were dressed up as the _Avengers_ , Stan told you to 'stay gold'. He also saved you when we were trapped in a cavern because of that Manbearpig dude. And while we were playing that _GoT_ game where we dressed as humans and elves, I believe that Butters had a crush on the wonderful, Princess Kenny."

He was dumbfounded.

"(What the hell, dude!?)" was all that came out of his mouth. I laughed my ass off and let out a loud "Ha!" in his face.

"Oh my friend, Kenny," I laugh. "Did I 'accidently' push one of your buttons?"

"(Fuck off, Cartman.)" He flipped me off, stood up and just stomped away.

And then I was alone. _Why me_? I ask myself.

Eventually, I was too bored to kick any more rocks and throw some into the pond. So, I just walked back home to return to my slumber.

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 **How was that? Lame, or nah? Hope you enjoyed this short-ass chapter. LOL! And so I hope to return with more once I get a chance to. Toodles!**


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